Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!