Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!