Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!