Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!