Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!