male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

You smell just like my mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +79

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

thumb_up thumb_down +73

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

thumb_up thumb_down -83

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

thumb_up thumb_down -82

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +139

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down -5

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!