How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!