Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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You allergic to semen?

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!