- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Walking to your car alone later?

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

"Don't scream"

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

I have no gag reflex.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

you actually look alright with the lights on.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book