Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +89

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I hate you already.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +126

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!