-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!