Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You allergic to semen?

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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