Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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