Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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You allergic to semen?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!