Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!