I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

Stable relationships are for horses.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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