Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!