M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

-hey, come here a minute.

This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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