Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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-hey, come here a minute.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!