Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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adam burdass

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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