Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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