- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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adam burdass

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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