Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!