*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +134

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +83

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

thumb_up thumb_down -48

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

thumb_up thumb_down -86

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

thumb_up thumb_down -90

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!