I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!