Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!