On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!