- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

So, you're a girl, huh?

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book