hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!