Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!