As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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I'll punch ya!

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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