he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

I think I shit myself

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

Eat me, I'm organic!

Boy : Gurle: hi

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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