Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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I think I shit myself

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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