Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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will you marry me

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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I think I shit myself

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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free candy....

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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