so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!