Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down -85

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +50

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -28

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!