- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

I think I shit myself

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book