Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!