You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!