Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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