Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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will you marry me

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!