Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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free candy....

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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