"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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