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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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