M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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