- Anti-Pickup Line

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man takes off makeup and fake blood Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

Nice hair, can I pull it?

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!