- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book