Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Drink this!

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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are you on fire?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!