Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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You look... clean

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!