I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!