Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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You allergic to semen?

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!