Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I have a gun.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Im gonna rape you..

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!