Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Male: Get in the van.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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sex me.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Im gonna rape you..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!