J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

So when' the baby due?

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

rohypnol. rape drug

Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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