Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Hey girl! Faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +218

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

thumb_up thumb_down +197

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +134

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

my dick is 2 inches

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!