Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Gaywatch starts

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!