Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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