Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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nice kid... want another?

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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your almost as hot as my wife

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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