-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!