Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Soon

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!