- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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nice kid... want another?

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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-Do you like me? -No

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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-I love you.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!