Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Male: Get in the van.

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

fancy going halves on a bastard?

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

sex me.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!