-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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nice kid... want another?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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